My Changed Life

When Terry was here, before the brain tumor took all of our energy, we were really getting to a wonderful, exciting stage in our lives. Our children had married and were on their way in the world....we had an incredible grandson and we were looking forward to the days when we could travel the world seeing all the things we had read about and watched on T.V. and movies.

Afer a year of caring for Terry, with the help and incredible support from all of you, I have now spent a very lonely year trying to figure out what I want to do. I am still working on that. Most days I spend here at home, thinking of things to do. Some days are still just lost and I don't have any recall of what I did...but mostly I try to keep busy studying whatever subject is interesting that day, reading or knitting. I've really cut back on wine....only one night a week and now I feel pretty lousy in the morning after that night, so I may just cut it out all together! I've managed to loose about 20 pounds since last fall by just eating more healthy. I hope I can continue that too.




I have had the joy of having Soren stay with me for a couple of weekends this summer. He is a really sweet boy, polite and funny....and ALL BOY. He has quite an acurate throwing arm, and can hit a ball with a bat too! This winter Jeremy and Tanya will teach him to ice skate and also begin his downhill skiing lessons. He has just started Pre-school 2 days a week and is really enjoying that too. Jeremy and Tanya bought a house in Rockford Mn, about 20 miles west of me so they now have a lovely home and a new community to settle into.




Lisa and Matt will start looking for a house to buy in the spring. They have just finished another fun season of 'playing pirate' with their group out at the Rennaisance Festival.




Every day and every moment, I am reminded of my aloneness. And yet, I have no desire to return to the office to work. I want to travel like WE always said WE would do, but there is no more WE, and it is very lonely to travel alone.

I will be making a trip to the San Juan Islands next week in the company of 11 strangers. I have traveled like this before, as a travel agent, and it is kind of interesting. I'll meet everyone when we arrive at the cruise ship and then I can decide "who" I want to be for the week. I can take on almost any persona I choose and can carry off for a week. I will not decide exactly who I will 'be' until I meet the others. It is a weird chance to try on another personality, if I choose.

I bought some real hiking boots for this trip! Jeremy insisted that he did NOT want to have me return again from a trip with a broken ankle! (last trip to Mexico with Terry, I did that, and I also fell in Italy last year and came home with a wrecked knee and wrenched back which required months of physical therapy!) I wore the boots on a really long downtown Duluth hike last weekend and they are really comfy. So, everyone say a little prayer for me that I return from this trip unhurt.


I'm thinking about beginning to finish the basement rooms this winter. I've worked out a plan with my financial guy that I think will work. So now I can sit down there and work out a design that might work. As the days get colder I'll check to see how well the new windows are helping with the temperature down there. It should make a big difference. I have big plans: landscaping in the back yard will have to wait until spring now. The new fence will be installed soon, but that will be too late now to plant the bushes I fear.

I will post again when I return from the cruise, with some great pictures I hope!